Hello everyone, my name is “Max The Cat.” I know what you’re thinking…I don’t look like the typical BRIT Brittany you’re used to seeing on this site. That’s because I’m a cat and not a Brittany! But don’t hold that against me, terrible changes have occurred at my house which have caused me to put myself up for “adoption” on this website.
Here’s my sad tale of woe: last summer my Monkey caretakers, the folks who open the cans of cat food, brought home a playmate for me named Trapper. He’s a Brittany/Labrador mix who was adopted from BRIT.
Life was good until those selfish monkeys brought home a puppy named Gunner.
Unlike Trapper this guy has NO MANNERS WHATSOEVER. He’s so hyper and is constantly up in my grill. He bounces around like crazy and even pokes his head in my room during my sacred kibble time. He’s even climbed my cat tree which every nincompoop knows is only for cats! (see evidence below)
I’m not sure I totally understand what “adoption” means (Trapper told me it’s the Monkey’s word for “you’re extra special and I’m going to rub your belly”) but whatever. Here are my requirements. Please do not apply unless you can meet all of them:
1) I get to keep my private room with a cat door at the monkey’s house.
2) I get to keep my playmate, Trapper.
3) You have to make Gunner sit quietly in the corner.
4) I get fresh Tuna twice a day starting at 5:30 am. None of that canned stuff; I really want you to bring me fish market tuna.
5) At no time will you allow my dry food bowl become less than 7/8th full. Or else we’ll have words.
Other than that I’m a typical fun-loving Tabby with beautiful markings who loves to be petted and scratched behind the ears every day at 2:07 am. I’m current on my shots, neutered, microchipped and litterbox trained.
Questions regarding this Max the Cat should be directed to:
1-888-552-7488 or email@example.com
Me and my best buddy, Trapper:
Gunner is a bad puppy. Bad! Bad boy! No!